What A Narsistic Grrl Would Say..

Sometimes I wonder… do you really care? or you just find me as fucked up as you and you tried to find your answer in me?

funny how you are very interested in me and my life… but whenever I got too close to you, you ran away.

you tried to shake me from my decision, the decision I made long before I even have the guts to tell you. and I dont even know why I’m soo scared to tell you about it… afraid of losing something that’s never belong to me from the first… I know I’ve been a silly little girl for you, you may think that I’m your plaything. but you didnt realized that I evoke inner you, I can see the changes in you even you’ll never admit that.

my dear, I sure hope you’ll find the answer and the one some day… because I think I’m gonna stop living in my dream world and I’ve given up finding the one. in my heart I found you, you are all I want.

my friend and I had a talk, we think that our dream man is only lives in our dream… to think that we dont want ‘perfect’, what we want is just a decent guy - well decent enough up to our standard that is. we dont want a supermodel with einstein brain and buddha attitude… no, no. even i find that criteria is rather abnoxious…

and what about love, people asked me. well, what about it? what’s love got to do with it? at the end we only love ourselves.. we only love the people who loves us, if not we fall into broken heart… we always can find people who loves us, i think that would be enough.

another friend asked me, dont you want to find the right one? hey tell me, how do you which is right and which is wrong? at the end we all taking the same chance, it’s like gambling… I just sure hope that I’m betting on the right horse (never good at gambling though). sometimes immediate action is need to be taken just because of instinct… intuition… wild guess.. whatever you call it, it is all the same. we all taking the same risk, it’s not like you have the time to know each and every horse in the game.

not all of us winner, right?!